alphadog vs lenox(alpha wins by dq)

[alphadog]

10 48 from check

[Lenox]

Rip


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[alphadog]

Check

[alphadog]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...67#post8670667

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post8671110

[Massaker]

@alphadog @Lenox
This goin down fellas? Been over 48hrs

[alphadog]

Sent mine to fresh, lex Mia tbh

[Fresh]

This dude try's so hard to fit into a part meant for vets, u a lost pet
You'll never get an accomp,lex unless its fully furnished modest n a 12 month contract
This handicap, pansy naps n drools over his bed stand
Can hardly rap and the shit he thinks of should have his Head Band
You love been bullied n I bet u Flinch alot faggot
Id Reflex over a table n he'd jitter and have fits
You don't understand punches, I don't study em but they landin son
If some 1 said for len t clean necks he'd reach out n grab u one
Listen ur materials not fresh its point blank a bad sight
If you wanna win a battle on a different rap site, don't battle that guy


Alpha wins via no show

- - - Updated - - -

I'll leave this open til tomorrow n leave some feed when I'm at a comp

[Letterman]

I can tell you have some creativity but the way you execute your bars makes them not hit. Your first one, a complex is cool but you had to call him Lex in order for it to work. Lex is not short for Lenox so that doesn't work. 2nd bar, you gotta connect your set up to your punch. Find a way to make the first line relevant and lead up into the second. I think head band/banned is a pretty dated concept but you didn't execute it well enough anyway. The advice would be pretty redundant but just look at the things I said about your first two bars. Read battles in LLL from some of the more experienced writers and try to emulate their styles. I think that would be a good way for you to learn how to formulate your bars.

[Fresh]

This dude try's so hard to fit into a part meant for vets, u a lost pet
You'll never get an accomp,lex unless its fully furnished modest n a 12 month contract
This was actually pretty good, unfortunately lost PET and conTRACT don't rhyme.
This handicap, pansy naps n drools over his bed stand
Can hardly rap and the shit he thinks of should have his Head Band
This is kinda weak, but i get wat ur going for and u've got the right idea
You love been bullied n I bet u Flinch alot faggot
Id Reflex over a table n he'd jitter and have fits
not feelin this
You don't understand punches, I don't study em but they landin son
If some 1 said for len t clean necks he'd reach out n grab u one
with some rewording this could have been nice, kinda fell flat as is
Listen ur materials not fresh its point blank a bad sight
If you wanna win a battle on a different rap site, don't battle that guy
lol is this about me? This was a miss tho

Youre getting alot better alpha dog, good shit. Keep at it man, at this rate ur gonna be a problem in the very near future/

[Unfukwitable]

This dude try's so hard to fit into a part meant for vets, u a lost pet
You'll never get an accomp,lex unless its fully furnished modest n a 12 month contract
-couldve been dope nice wp and concept but the bar didnt rhyme at all bro becareful with things like that.
This handicap, pansy naps n drools over his bed stand
Can hardly rap and the shit he thinks of should have his Head Band
- get what u was tryna say but it was just a fail here.
You love been bullied n I bet u Flinch alot faggot
Id Reflex over a table n he'd jitter and have fits
- U didnt put enough into this here imo.
You don't understand punches, I don't study em but they landin son
If some 1 said for len t clean necks he'd reach out n grab u one
- wording was off aint feel this here.
Listen ur materials not fresh its point blank a bad sight
If you wanna win a battle on a different rap site, don't battle that guy
- No this was a bad closer and it lacked creativity.

Just structure ur verses the same way u did ur 1st bar except actually rhyme and u should be good to go bro...