Victory Lap III

[Tr!gga]

It's the new era; I got the new Blueprint
So all these new kids step in my shoe prints
Writin history in this studio I'm boothed in
It's so exclusive, and all the more elusive
U can call it ruthless, but don't misconstrue it
they say money talks well I'm speakin it fluent
Like i'm a fuckin native, I c u niggaz'll hate it
But u can't touch me; country club is gated
New York eState of Mind, yeah I stay in mine
California manor, check ya manners, n my grammar
This is V L III, u niggaz eatin healthy
Smooth as butter but u bitches can't melt me
Poor rollerbladers; yall some fuckin cheapskates
I c u (ICU) haters, but i'm classic like a Cheesesteak
But I'm eatin lobster, watchin all u imposters
U deserve an Oscar, eat ya Ramen pasta
Looks like I'm just hungry 4 some greatness
I'm lackin patience; but resilient like Haitians
Refuse to lay down or dry up like some raisins
Beat the odds I'm a stallion; we at the races
Hit the finish line and u c its no contest
Victory is sweet; Diabetes is onset
Trying new things but winning is a constant
Bcuz having no cents is what I call nonsense


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...868/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...000/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...267/index.html

[TheMadScientist]

i like this open mic. sounds more like an audio though, do you plann on recording it?. Besides that ......it was good flowed easy and the structure was vey neat. Rhymescheme was cool at parts to me but during others it was a bit basic. Good job Keep it up!

Thanks for the feed on my open!

[Tr!gga]

Np.. And I don't have a mic and I'm not sure how long I wanna keep rapping.. So audio probably isn't gonna happen. Rapping for me is more for venting and to sharpen my literary skills, feel me?

[N.F.M.]

Tr!gga man, that shit was dope. I loved it bruh. And I'm pretty sure you already know which line I love the most:

Trying new things but winning is a constant
Bcuz having no cents is what I call nonsense

That's that explosion, right there, lol. You killed that shit, son. You right up my level with this rap, homie. And I feel ya on that venting tip, you hear me? That's why I do it. Keep it up homeboy. Run laps around these niggas, ya dig? One.

[Tr!gga]

Thx bruh. I c u.

[Chrit.]

This is a steaming pile of dog shit.

Its says nothing worthwhile and is short as fuck.

[Tr!gga]

Glad I have varying opinions to compare and gain from.

Honestly fuck you and eat a fuckin dick during a fucking herpes outbreak you fuckin faggot ass cliche ass fuckin attention whore wannabe rebel piece of shit. And thanks for the fucking tips on improving you fucking shitty ass one dimensional sack of fuckin tampons.

EDIT: ^Everyone ignore that bcuz he probably won't read that

Thx for ur opinion tho

[Jukon]

one thing i noticed pretty early on is that your rhyme schemes are pretty redundant, work on changing those up more often, you went 6 lines with the same assonance and that's a bit much imo. but overall, this wasn't horrible, you had some raw concepts but i feel your execution wasn't quite up to par with the ideas, feel me? no hate though, definitely appreciate the effort and just keep at it, even if you don't like rapping that much its a great way to vent and i can tell thats exactly what you were doing so keep at it.

[Tr!gga]

i feel u. Good looks on the feedback & criticism

[BankDollaSign]

i agrreea with Wesley best liNe of the verse wuhs

Trying new things but winning is a constant
Bcuz having no cents is what I call nonsense

This one go hard too .

But I'm eatin lobster, watchin all u imposters
U deserve an Oscar, eat ya Ramen pasta