Rules and Regulations
Good Luck!
Rules and Regulations
Good Luck!
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
sup son... make it good. last week
im going to shit all over your parade. Im going to try something new here just for the hell of it. good luck
Scytsophrenia
New shit didnt work out, so I reverted
Complete Failure
You’re bones breaking.
You are the crack in my fake wings
As I’m patiently waiting to take things for granted.
I make rings for the handless, But I manage.
Staying candid, looking slanted and it
Landed me branded with a stigma estrangement
Your angst, I could have handled it
But the anger yanked it from my hands grip.
Stand or sit, my options were few and futile.
So I judged you while I lay blue on the tile
And you flew a country mile with a slew of trials,
Now hanging on my coat tail
Watching you walking down the aisle.
You were so not a blessing in disguise
But hiding under that white gown wouldn’t be your style
And I knew this and I’m fine with it.
I may carve your name in my skin rather than letting you sign it
Etch my pain with calligraphy so fancy your eyes twitch
With deep breaths of horror your lives switch, my bitch.
From compassion and heart break to triflin’.
Side stitch, caused by running to catch up with my drift
But I’m too quick and with you, slightly relentless.
Highly pretentious, kindly binding to forgiveness
Only if you controlled your temper and weren’t so short with it.
It’s not that I love you less, I just love me so much more
I left our marriage at the door
As you drug that blade through my skin
When you knew that my canvas was not supposed to be yours.
Beating and bleeding on the floor, my corpse on all fours.
You tried to brand a man in a spot that would always be sore
I’m not even sure of what you are even looking for
But my capabilities are core, into my skin I bore
I’m not going to take my life, but I’m going to make it short,
So I won’t need your help to spread my lore.
Keep your filthy hands off of me,
Because with open cuts I’m susceptible to infection more.
I tried to disregard, for your marks were in a hard to see spot.
But every time I see a mirror my emotions get caught
And strung up in my nose and seep out with the snot.
All my drawings I jot, into my skin with a razor
And there are a lot
Can all now be forgot, due to the tainting your brush strokes brought.
I had this vision, even as a kid, of what I was meant to do
Mark the body I was given, until there was no skin left to chose
Display the pain of man, this would hurt and I knew
With a slew of marks up the wrists,
I was focusing on which area to go through.
Found a way to cut my back, and while this method was new
I etched into my chest, displaying my affection for you.
But the connection was true, and I lowered my guard all the same
And when I wasn’t looking, you took the time to print your name.
It was a word, to say, but corrosive marks with your nails.
Ripping the blood out of my shoulders, breathing the wind that was stale.
I thought the marks would leave, but scars tailed
And this perfect mosaic I had been working on for years
Had turned into a complete fail.
Scytsophrenia
The Last Chapter
By: Cry
She's leaving again....
Goodbyes are never good, 'cause they don't really happen
now he thinks of her more than he normally has been
waking up holding pillows for supporting the habit
and what he wouldn't give to be born with some magic
for formin' a rabbit that'll smell like shit and throw the fragrance
or maybe turn it into her, with the hopes to slay it...
but hope is overrated.. these feelings are real
he's stuck on solid ground while the ceiling's her field
he's kneeling to kneel.. thinkin' she's queen
still actin' like her shit don't stink when she speaks
but now it seems that he's free... past passion
his acting dies down and his laugh blackens...
can't fathom the last tantrum, the last anthem...
the last handsome young man, & the girl he takes a hand from
the last love... payed off on bargain diamonds
sitting in a ditch where his heart can't find him
parching eyelids.... [or at least he's tryin']
pretending to pray, making what he preaches pious
exchanging life with bigger prizes... and clown shoes
ones he can't fill, so he neglects the how to's
his mind's a prison... stuck in a round tomb
"never get me back" -- her words spit out truth
'cause sitting here all alone, is where "never" found proof
begging, pleading for a payout from a lesser value...
forever down to a very simple act of pouting
fucking every other girl on twenty different outings
causing instant clouding of judgement and joy
and feeling vunerable from what his crutches exploit
stomach deploys... vomit and harsh pain
digesting 6 months of love to garnish this heartache
to part ways... and after five longer weeks??
he's walking and hoping to pass her by on the street
pat her guy on the cheek with a handfull'a hate
just to hear every sound that his mandible makes..
with animal traits... a hand that feeds the tyrant
so go figure... her guy's an ass and he's a lion
a man who needs to be required...
eyein' the last chapter, as he see's her sneakin' by him..
http://i991.photobucket.com/albums/a...es/1girl-1.png
"The last person on earth will always be a woman,
and her power to manipulate our sense of being."
Topic, not really sure man. The flow in this piece was really sketchy for me dude. Alot of the rhymes seemed forced to me. Just wasn't feeling a vibe bro. The concept was pretty plain, personally. Others may think otherwise, but I'm not them. I haven't been paying much attention to you this season. So maybe I caught you on a bad week? Or maybe our styles are just too different.
Cry, lol at us using the same two topics. And both writing about a woman in some way. Anyway. The rhyme scheme was cool. Some lines couldn've changed the rhyme scheme earlier. Some could've went two or more lines more. But for the most part it seemed fluent. Cool read.
Vote Cry.
topic-i think that you started out with a dope rhyme scheme but it deteriorated as the piece went on..you didnt follow through with the multis in some places and that really threw the vibe off for me..i liked the concept but i think it couldve been executed a little better..still tight but not what i was expecting.
cry-i liked the concept...i liked the piece in general..rhyme scheme was dope as usual..your story was helped along nicely with the vivid imagery you used...it wasnt your best piece obviously but it was still dope and also good enough to take the win..this was dope and the second line stood out the most..a really enjoyable piece..keep droppin.Originally Posted by Cry
vote-cry
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Topic - did you get bored with your piece like 1/3 through? you started with a nice scheme and complete package...then your rhyming fell off but the rest was still there...then just lost it all for me...I dunno...actually you brought it back in the last stanza
Found a way to cut my back, and while this method was new
I etched into my chest, displaying my affection for you.
^Dopeness for sure...the etched into my chest connects nicely to the endrhyme...
Cry - A solid drop...not the most intriguing piece, but the scheme was consistent and so was your topic. However, a lot of your lines became redundant to me, like you were harping on the same thing with just a slight twist in the way you said it...I dunno. I was just hoping it moved on a little, but you ddi have some decent lines scattered in.
"can't fathom the last tantrum, the last anthem...
the last handsome young man, & the girl he takes a hand from"
^Like the wording here...
This is a hard one for me actually...both had the same enjoyment, I just feel the connection more as Cry's topic compared to topic's. Wasn't getting the complete failure from it really...was still a nice read, but when they're this close, I gotta find someithng that separates them...also, Cry was a little more consistent.
Vote - Cry
This is my signature...
On my phone so this will be quick
Vote cry
Topics verse had a cpl standout lines. But could have weeded out some of the more generic lines and tweaked it to a shorter/doper verse.
Cry solid verse technically snd good flow just overall more snd. Not too much to get rid of since most eveything was usefull in the story and overall good to dope nice drop
Cry wins (9-7)
Topic loses (6-3)
CLOSED
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
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