my frist rap tyteld THE REAL P I M P

[DPRpride]

aight yo this is my frist rap so bear with me if its corny n what not i could use ur elp so ill take asny helpful criticizum just a lil back graound im not some stuk up punk ass kid who thinks hez the shit its just s rap thats all nothing more to it.. also the reason y i picked a topic as this is cuz my boyz gave me the nick name P I M P. but anyway hear it is hope ya like it.



Im the motha fukin P I M P there aint none like me cant u see ya try to break me shake me try to be like me but u cant do me. u aint nothin to me just another fuckin wanabe.

There aint one that can compare to me not even JZ he got his girls girls girls n girls but i got them HOZ HOZ HOZ n HOZ i got them all numbas 1 2 n 3 the list goes on n on ya just cant see how good it is just to be me ya sit there n wonder how can it be the ladyz love me wana be with just wana do me but can it be that i got the BIG ass tree

i look at ur face its a fukin discarce as i say this rhym it blows ur mind out of line u just dont see i am the P I M P there aint 1 like me...

aight pplz that waz it i hope ya liked it um i dont chek this thing to mutch so if u want to leave a comment about it just plez email me at DPRpride85@hotmail.com thanks for readin pice pplz..

[RLM]

good work man, lotta potential:-

"Im the motha fukin P I M P there aint none like me cant u see ya try to break me shake me try to be like me but u cant do me. u aint nothin to me just another fuckin wanabe."

Some nice lines^^^, you obviously have a good grasp of internals, just need to be a lil more creative with your rhymes (i.e. not just me, be, see, free, etc)

But real good shit overall look forward to hearin' more