Season Greetings - Will RTF!

[Jawn Raw]

Season Greetings

The beginning of a new life, another chance to pursuit passion
And advance without a trance so you could salute actions..
To elevate most wisely and precise; a fresh instinct to relax
When the day of growth and stability become linked to the past
The frustration of daydreams; your mind states lost in rations
The cost is demandin’ causing you to have a negative reaction
There’s a possibility for happiness in a future not yet affected
By staying connected to the not yet infected judgments to reject it
But perfect it, none the less stay protected in the depths of truth
Through valuating the loyalty and taking a deep breath of proof
The promise from most was false as the honesty wasn’t present
But with little consent, the winter freezes up to a further extent
These stems intend to extend out to requiem and lament as
The leaves of these trees grow; a stronger mind relates to mention:
You’re a peasant with little intention to await a pension
But this job is to tough; creating an long anticipated tension

Chorus x2
Season Greetings to those that learn to weather the storm
Congratulations to the people that earn to better the norm
Season Greetings to the sunny days when it’s all warm
Cause it’s always nice to relax until the new year is reborn

The beginning of a new year; a time to rejoice of your blessings
By staying positive and consistent when your poise is caressing
In attention for April as spring is coming near; summer is soon here
The winter has already spoken as your voice is still stressing
Autumn is gone and it’s your turn to stand on the podium
The cold is strong as your heaving steel like a man full of sodium
Just to reach the top, you’d wanna breach a cop and sneeze
Cause the beach is hot chillin when you’re feelin the breeze
It’s nice in this place; it feels like paradise is the place
Where the passion is existin’ now my life has a face
Always showing my best side; to reveal you the westside
Just come to Canada cause it’s real on the left side
When it’s cold for half the time and the other is always warm
You know it’s great to have fate around to sustain the storm
Both the winter and the summer, they’re both each respected
Cause up in Canada, it never pours to long when it’s least expected

Chorus x2
Season Greetings to those that learn to weather the storm
Congratulations to the people that earn to better the norm
Season Greetings to the sunny days when it’s all warm
Cause it’s always nice to relax until the new year is reborn

[Jawn Raw]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ng-365672.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ts-366955.html

[Havoc.]

This was an excellent peice. everything absolutely flowed flawless. you had great structure and the multies made it flow so much better. your word choice was very good, it made everything reveal more emotion, imagery, and thought. overall excellent peice. very enjoyable to read. liked the chorus as well. keep writing.

[ARMADA]

The beginning of a new life, another chance to pursuit passion
And advance without a trance so you could salute actions..
To elevate most wisely and precise; a fresh instinct to relax

ive read past this but i cant get past it, isnt it pursue?, i know
its a multi link for salute, but it just sounds strange to me, unless
that was your intention, cos the "fresh instinct" line is interesting
wordchoice as well...lol i just had to say something, little things
tend to bother me...pay no notice

When the day of growth and stability become linked to the past
The frustration of daydreams; your mind states lost in rations
The cost is demandin’ causing you to have a negative reaction
There’s a possibility for happiness in a future not yet affected
By staying connected to the not yet infected judgments to reject it
But perfect it, none the less stay protected in the depths of truth
Through valuating the loyalty and taking a deep breath of proof
The promise from most was false as the honesty wasn’t present
But with little consent, the winter freezes up to a further extent
These stems intend to extend out to requiem and lament as
The leaves of these trees grow; a stronger mind relates to mention:
You’re a peasant with little intention to await a pension
But this job is to tough; creating an long anticipated tension

transitions were good, message...havent decided yet, i'll have to
ponder a moment, maybe the next stanza will give me some more
clues
Chorus x2
Season Greetings to those that learn to weather the storm
Congratulations to the people that earn to better the norm
Season Greetings to the sunny days when it’s all warm
Cause it’s always nice to relax until the new year is reborn

ok..got it lol

The beginning of a new year; a time to rejoice of your blessings
By staying positive and consistent when your poise is caressing
In attention for April as spring is coming near; summer is soon here
The winter has already spoken as your voice is still stressing
Autumn is gone and it’s your turn to stand on the podium
The cold is strong as your heaving steel like a man full of sodium
Just to reach the top, you’d wanna breach a cop and sneeze
Cause the beach is hot chillin when you’re feelin the breeze
It’s nice in this place; it feels like paradise is the place
Where the passion is existin’ now my life has a face
Always showing my best side; to reveal you the westside
Just come to Canada cause it’s real on the left side
When it’s cold for half the time and the other is always warm
You know it’s great to have fate around to sustain the storm
Both the winter and the summer, they’re both each respected
Cause up in Canada, it never pours to long when it’s least expected

lol what was your motivation for this piece man, i just have to wonder,
lol man im finding it hard to type im still laughing, lol shit...well hmm
technically sound, i mean dam why did you write this no disrespect, but
im honestly tryin to figure out where ya mind was at, cos i can tell you
got skill and i know when i write something, i want it to be original which
this is, but i still want to make the reader engage with it on some level,
and the first half was cool, but that ending was ...lite, but again no disrespect,
just my opinion, i tendto ramble sometimes, stay up keep it easy,
and if you wouldnt mind hitting "Ages of stone" would be appreciated...peace

[Jawn Raw]

lol ok. i find it funny you were feed it like a text battle. the salute line does kinda seem weird i agree but it makes sense if you think about it. if it helps use a dictionary yo. sometimes i write things that seem weird, but they really make sense if you think about it. think salute of more greeting something like a private would towards his captain or somethin.

anyway thanks for the feed. get some more here. drop links

[ARMADA]

lol i know what salute means, it was the "pursuit passion", shouldnt it
be "pursue passion" in any case, appreciate it if you rtf, heres the link

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ne-366764.html

[HighEngineChief]

This was pretty cool, the flow was great and the rhyme scheme, (though you fucked it up a few times) was really good. I liked the idea you were presenting, the concepts were cool even though it's kind of weird hearing a big ups to canada verse, not alot of those. You got all the vocab and devices and shit down just tighten up the flow, and old dude was right, it's pursue. Pursue is first person, pursuit is third - i think.. Anyway overall dope drop, like to see you try a more story based piece next time - you got the basics down perfect.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...-2-367300.html
RTF

[Vice]

this waz a good text piece. flow waz on point. content waz above the norm.
hook waz well writting and catchy. overall 9 out of 10

[sick flows fam]

This was a nice peice, not incredibly mind blowing but good flow. You sometimes were wordy, and misused/misplaced words, but It's all good

I liked the chorus honeslty, I could see myself singing along to it.


Quoteables-
"But perfect it, none the less stay protected in the depths of truth
Through valuating the loyalty and taking a deep breath of proof
The promise from most was false as the honesty wasn’t present
But with little consent, the winter freezes up to a further extent "

tho I didnt think it rhymed that well on the last bar


"Season Greetings to those that learn to weather the storm
Congratulations to the people that earn to better the norm
Season Greetings to the sunny days when it’s all warm
Cause it’s always nice to relax until the new year is reborn"
i liked it, chorus was cool


fresh concept on a peice I guess.


Good shit, RTF and peep Fear & Pain

[Jawn Raw]

thanks for the feed yall. yea i thought of using pursue as well. it still woulda worked for the multi to rhyme so it wouldnt change much. but yea I'll rtf sometime today or tomorrow. up

[Ntalek]

This was a cool read...nothing really reached out at me though..I thought you had some aiight flow in this with a few mishaps..the content was coo..but what brought me in was the chorus...that part was nice...The concept was pretty original so props on that..overall I thought this was aiight..you couldve done some things differently...but all in all..this was worth the read...RTF pls...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...cc-367210.html

[Kandlestic]

nice piece like they said not incredible but well structured and real hip hoppish would like to hear a audio though if not already