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Thread: House Special

  1. #1
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    House Special

    “Yeah…I’ll have the house special”

    “House special…did I hear ya say…House special”


    Grinding up some extra cheese, some extra cheddar
    Tip it up with Red Leicester & grinded Mozzarella
    Flip it for some more dough—burn up real slow
    Go peel the potatoes, nachos with chips- fatty combo
    Latte or Mango, which drink would be better nutrition
    Intuition says Mango & he say’s Cappuccino, a confusion
    So I bustle out—the backyard—hustle out a tips card
    Protein shake—to gain a stronghold around the yard
    The round pennies of pepperoni, enticing yet spare change
    Arrange to turn it into Bologna—Baloney exchange
    I meet the Italian mince maker, meat the due taker
    He “wets his beak” in my profit, a bad habit maker
    Deal up for cream..Top product...He looks kind of grim
    scared he’s never dealt with crème de la crème
    Gems on the hem—actually cufflinks for caste grasp
    Voice rasps my vocal chords—internal bumps last
    in longevity—drink Bourne Vita for longevities to surpass
    general public loves the limelight of my lamp, I pass
    the light with bias—over my angels—in the business
    of commercializing Christmas, ignored in their busyness
    60 minutes popped off , when they popped off the cork
    Returned to the pizzeria, trashed the pizza—it has pork
    Waited for a while—but these men their untruthful
    Booths full- dealing cola, liquidized coke—penny & gone
    Sold me the same for10 pennies—been hustled for once
    Remembering the old adage—“Never trust anyone”


  2. #2
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    Re: House Special

    Hahahaha - fuckin' raw man. You were rhymin' nice as shit when I sang this out slow, it came out so nice. I think I know exactly how u wanted ur rhymes to go on this one and the pace you've got for it. Fresh as hell, and so damned funny to me since I work in a restaurant. maybe you do too, i guess. But as always, fucking nice Baron, love your work and u never disappoint... I know u hear this kind of generic feedback too much but I don't know what else to say, really, I dont have like, a favorite part, the whole thing was pretty awesome and the story just flipped itself so cool. I'm just gonna start clapping or something that made me smile, dude, thanks for writing it.

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  3. #3
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Last edited by P. Mortuus; January 27th, 2007 at 03:44 PM

  4. #4
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: House Special

    Thanks E..lol...good to see you liked it.

  5. #5
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: House Special

    last up for this particular day...day

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Try U MPH's Avatar
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    Re: House Special

    Clever. Nice paka, shits original homie. Gotta be feeling it.

    "The round pennies of pepperoni, enticing yet spare change
    Arrange to turn it into Bologna—Baloney exchange
    I meet the Italian mince maker, meat the due taker
    He “wets his beak” in my profit, a bad habit maker"


    Loved that part... Keep droppin that bomb ish paka, im feelin your style.
    R.I.P. Darrent Williams. You will live on through your family, friends, fans and the Broncos Organization. One Love.

    O-Ms
    Trapt in a Bitch - Response to Sto0ones Meth Poetry...

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    So See Ft. Baron P. Mortuus

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  7. #7
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
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    Re: House Special

    first things verse, I loved your first few lines.
    Your description made me smile, & the whole pizza thing made me want to read more as I am a fan of pizza. Rhyming Cheddar with Mozerrella, Fucking insane man, perfectly done. I was impressed by a lot of things in this, but the ending got me confused? I didn't get what that was about, I wanted more cheese but I just got confused. I get what it was about, but the wordplay fell off big time I thought, I didn't like the scheme you began to use with the exended lines following on, they threw me & I guess thats what helped in my whole confusion. Your style is very easy to follow, though, so nevertheless this was a great piece to read, & far better than most on the OM scene, but I didn't really feel for the way you went towards the end. Drugs???? lol.


    Baron I owe you so much.


    NOW LEAVE FEED ON MY PIECE!
    Good Luck, Mr. Christopher Goggins.

  8. #8
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: House Special

    lol...i got tired near the end and added subtle hints throughout the piece..at times the cheese can be literal at times it mean money...the dough can be literal but again mean money and the guy was hustled out by defective product lol.

    Anyhow, i'll get to your piece as soon as possible.

  9. #9

    Re: House Special

    This was off the wall...ehhh

    Grindin mozerella? That the oldest money metaphor Ive heard on RB so far
    That like 76...Ja Dig?
    Big Afros & Platform shoes old' whoa...JK

    It was decent
    6/10

  10. #10
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: House Special

    Quote Originally Posted by Edward Casey
    This was off the wall...ehhh

    Grindin mozerella? That the oldest money metaphor Ive heard on RB so far
    That like 76...Ja Dig?
    Big Afros & Platform shoes old' whoa...JK

    It was decent
    6/10
    Don't know HOW old it is i have listened to that old school

  11. #11
    I'm wack.
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    Re: House Special

    LoL...Good ish...


    I liked the play from food to money...Nicely done...

    Scheme wasn't spectacular...But it was overshadowed by the piece itself so it didn't make a diff...Kinda fell off towards the end...But Nice piece...

    Everything else was said above...Good stuff...
    This is my signature...

  12. #12
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    Re: House Special

    This was another brillant piece form you Baron..I love to read your pieces...The imagery in this piece was magnificent...your very descriptive wording made for a hell of a vision in my imagination...the topic and story line was very creative and different.....It's nice to read different and not so serious topicals once in a while...and add a lil humor...lightens up the mind and allows a lil lay off from all the intellectual topic's....overall this was a very good read....nice shit Baron P.


    Battles I need closed

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    If I voted in your battle or left feed on your OM plz RTF

    Open Mic's


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    L.S.
    N.A.
    M.C.

  13. #13
    You've Earned a Custom Title! HyP0ThetICle's Avatar
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    Re: House Special

    Grinding up some extra cheese, some extra cheddar
    Tip it up with Red Leicester & grinded Mozzarella
    ^^liked it good opening

    The round pennies of pepperoni, enticing yet spare change
    Arrange to turn it into Bologna—Baloney exchange
    ^^lmao

    overall man this was a decent piece nice word usage, good metas, and multies ummm
    yeah dude keep doing what you doing...

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    Dont believe the Hype cuz what you hear is True


    Open Mics

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    I've Voted

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