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Thread: Eternal Theft

  1. #1
    Is a ninja Lauren.'s Avatar
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    Eternal Theft

    The Final Theft

    "Break and enter without hesitation, my muscles trained from recitation
    Takes so little to take a lot, keep everything in moderation
    Don't assign them names or faces, race the clock as your heart races
    Be good stewards of your time and rid your path of accusing traces"

    ~
    This is the mantra of the thieves, the sick and twisted "robbin hoods"
    Us "merry men" are buying bread, pump-our nickles made from stolen goods
    This is our tradition, our own living, bought my blood by forcing giving
    So how could I make that one mistake that now my conscience keeps re-living
    I never meant to end her life, to make that child a sacrifice
    The one and only time I killed and her unlucky roll of dice
    A flicker of her tattered soles, a reflex, then a shattered skull
    As I ran away cascading tears, my eyes glimpsed the blood smattered hole
    Her clear blue eyes told everything, her peaceful face embraced the sting
    Her youthful lips once flecked with laughs would now grow cold and never sing
    My heart kept me from retreating though my soul thirsted for fleeting
    The guilt in my veins intensified with pain in each successive beating
    And rather than be drowned by sorrow, gladly I'd embrace tomorrow
    If I could give back all I took, but time is something we can't borrow
    If sirens could emancipate me fromt his grim eternal fate
    With joy I'd slap the handcuffs on so I could free myself from hate

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=4654658
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=298899

  2. #2
    Is a ninja Lauren.'s Avatar
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    getting slept on already

  3. #3
    Chop Chop Axe.'s Avatar
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    straight hot...nice vacab.....nice as flow..nice multies and mettas and wordplay..you had everything in there
    very hot shit..keep it up wit da hot drops
    overall=9.2/10

    keep droppin honey...
    CΛVEMEN
    Axe


  4. #4
    Dope Inc.
    Guest
    interesting topic, i noticed much creativity throughout
    rhyme scheme was pretty good, nice consistant flow
    vocab, imagery, and complexity was nice overall
    this peice was good...good job..keep it up..

  5. #5
    Is a ninja Lauren.'s Avatar
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    thanks, upping

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    yeah good verse yeah. i specially liked the opening 4 lines. vocab and wording was good. song had plenty of action going on so was entertaining.rhymes was ill.. flow was tite............style was coo........ i diddnt think the ending was quite as good as the start. i'd like to of seen maube a couple more bars to make for a more doper ending

    nice work still thoo

    stay 1
    .................................................. ......................

  7. #7
    Is a ninja Lauren.'s Avatar
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    upping

  8. #8
    Is a ninja Lauren.'s Avatar
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    leave feed please lol

  9. #9
    Is a ninja Lauren.'s Avatar
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    upping

  10. #10
    Is a ninja Lauren.'s Avatar
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    :'(

  11. #11
    Is a ninja Lauren.'s Avatar
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    upping

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