AMATORY LOVE....remix

[EdgySista]

I posted this another thread the wrong one but here ...someone please give me an answer ....wether you like or not
remix......continous

As I wake in your mistake i reminisce
tasten your very essence
I'll show my truth and its every exsistance
roam freely inside of me but don't ever exit
patients is what i may have until i feel your juices drip down my thick lips
Make me free again and diminish my shackles and allow me to rome in the plains of internal sexual mystery
Sheets left on wooden floors
moans heard behind closed doors
you pulling down my Vickie Draws
temptations of you roaming inside me can't be ignored
So do as you please and show me how you feel
mistakes will be made but trust me the guilt you feel inside will be erased
Because I'll sex you like no other
so day break you may never see
your attention is set on hitten this yoni

[shazzzzzar]

it was alright. good use of vocab. it seemed dragged out in some places and too choppy in others. it was good though jus keep workin on it.
6/10

[EdgySista]

lol FINALLY someone replied about my work...really appreciate it and yes I will work on it ...lol this is my talent in which God blessed me with so I'm definently going to take heed in what you just said ...THANKS

[MaDD SkILLz]

good vocab. work on tha structure a lil. like shazz said it seemed dragged out in places n other places too short. but other than that it was good. 6.4/10

[EdgySista]

lol thanks Skillz but I will take our advice on this ...well he structure it was a remx to a piece Atticus wrote well someone from Poetic Cypha spelled wrong probably so thats why its that short ...I can write more ...damn what I really need is a new notebook LOL but anyway thanks for the support PEACE AND LOVE

[Atti]

Mmmmmmmmm, no I don't think this was ever mine... But then again I'm not sure what was changed, maybe it is but I just don't reconize it any more *Shrug*