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Thread: NEW HERE...First Time let me know what u think!

  1. #1

    NEW HERE...First Time let me know what u think!

    Verse:
    U c I’m just at the begining, i’m still a amature but i’m already doing damage 4 sure, I don’t plan on staying in school u a collegure, now that make u a
    amature,
    tell me what u gonna get from college what u can’t get from the street
    sure u might get lucky,get a good job, work ur ass off, sacrificing ur family life trying 2 get on top and earn some money but when the time come 4 u 2 get the money u ain’t gonna have anybody 2 share it with, cuz ain’t no girl out there that gonna love u, have ur child and wait 4 u at home knowin’ u ain’t comin’ home
    U might even be fuckin’ around while u in the other part of town, around here u can get a girl 4 – 20, now what’s that 2 a guy with plenty of money,
    Ur wife probably won’t even be noticin’ it but u’ll be noticin’ somethin’
    u’ll be noticin’ it, u’ll be noticin’ that the love is gone, ain’t no love holdin’ u 2gether,
    U be thearin’ apart becuz the love is gone and one day u might just use that gun u bought 4 selfprotecting on urself 4 self-destruction, blowing ur brains out is that it, is that why u’ve been workin’ ur ass off, so u can die loudly with out anybody noticin’ not even ur wife becuz by then she ur ex-wife, she got herself a new man, one who cares 4 her and loves her, one who takes care of her child and sees it as their child, and even do they might not be so wealthy they’ll be lovin’ each other and that’s what keeps u healthy…

  2. #2
    let me know what u think...

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Age
    41
    Posts
    198
    Battle Record
    1-5
    this was okay ,good for a 14 year old
    but you need to work on ya structure and wordplay...
    otherwise you straight keep writing ....
    return the favor and respond to my collab
    Too Much Pressure with Lady Dip harlem....
    holla @ CHa Gurl

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  4. #4
    Retired.
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Nowhere
    Age
    33
    Posts
    1,737
    Battle Record
    9-11
    You need links for this, 2 or someone will close it.

  5. #5
    E.z. eddie
    Guest
    man ur struc needs mad work man look at other om's before doin urs thell give u a better idea. Ur struc is wat brings every thing together so urs make ur flow sound bad and rme sceme. elevate homie.......

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