Noty Finished

[Seedy]

I seen you from a mile away, smile as wide as day
blue kool aide smile, over a girl ,should i cry this way?
vehicles......two tired , i guess this is the midas way
should i think or take mine this way , with our timeless play
inconsistantant rhymes misplace, smooth sounds like chimes that grace
no clocks, i can take you to a timeless place infinite...if you grace it right
i love pacing right, these words will embrace ya life basic like tastin ice
Shoes will never be a waste of life, i stand beyond a eclipse praise the light
replace this life with sexing with faulty ho's, but all we know
With my word's i could draw a painting of an evolving rose

[warchild]

You need to add another 6 lines to this or its gonna get closed Jay, the mods are cracking down on short pieces add some more lines this was dope.
There was a lot of multies in the piece, imagery was decent but i think you need to write a longer piece so you can give the concept and story more weight. Vocab suited the piece but like i said its a bit too short to give in depth feed.
Return the feed on my OM:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245014