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Thread: Caged (edited)

  1. #1

    Caged (edited)

    I Stand at the edge of life’s nocturnal dream,
    Staring down i see my past life flowing in an endless stream.
    With visions of my ambitions that were led astray
    I fall down to my knees, so let’s pray.

    Let us pray for the hope, that manifest as we cope,
    Just to cope in a cage as long as we can’t elope.

    We breathe in the subtle levels of reality, constructed by pain,
    stained by the corruption of society, we attempt to sustain.

    I got questions to ask about our human past
    Why is it that we think only cash can make our happiness last.
    We sin and consume on simple fast track
    But only the ones that prayed will have the last laugh.

    So god im tryin to understand why you ever built a man
    when we sift through emotions like sand in a mans hands

    Since we cant escape society,
    I urge you to find a way to emancipate your thoughts
    that dissipate from the tears we negatively brought.
    Like me: I find solace between the bars of this cell
    a literary spell where the pain will repel.

    So, I stay laced on page, where only the words are caged,
    But the illiterate ways of my conscious faze,
    Conveys my thoughts in ways, unknown as maze.
    But on top of this page, with my lecturing rage,
    i cry out for salvation in this translucent cage.
    Last edited by Craft; October 9th, 2005 at 03:32 AM

  2. #2
    HaZy
    Guest
    I got questions to ask about our human past
    Why is it that we think only cash can make our happiness last.


    i often wonder this myself
    in fact ive even tried to just take a week and not go spend money * to put me in a better mood*
    failed after the 2nd day when i saw a cute jacket on sale

    its pathetic i kno
    back to your poem

    excellent theme on this one
    ive seen many poems written in this regard
    and they always seem to end with a re fraze of the first stanza

    and i hope that someday we are all given the key to get out of the cage...

  3. #3
    thanx, appreciate your comment

  4. #4
    SikTrik
    Guest
    very nic vocab, topic was on point..and really hit it with some nice lines...it had the complexity of a good poem, and got u thinkin and rlly got u into the poem...it had everything that made a poem worth reading...


    So god im tryin to understand why you ever built a man
    when we sift through emotions like sand in a mans hands

    ^^liked that lil bar goin on there..dont kno y just painted a great picture

    keep writing

  5. #5
    !.VeRbZ.!
    Guest
    nice peice felt the imagery creativity was fine......complexity was good cud of been better but good ...keep it up ill be looking for more peices from u....oh yeah and i also liked how the title matched the peice...and go hit up ma peice honestly its intitled Brotherly Love

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