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April 1st, 2005, 09:37 AM
#1
just like that
just like that?
what happend to the vibe we had?
i guess i wasn't what you wanted
i know you'll remember what we had
the littlest things will be the biggest memories
one moment everything is perfect, the other a disaster
two goofs are probably not meant to be
no its not true, someone just gave up on me
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April 1st, 2005, 10:36 AM
#2
Good lil blurb, i guess you dont write poetry alot,
This is a good start, i'm not the best for pointing out
what you should try and do, but i can say i like it its short and sweet
maybe play around with your wording...
i dont kno if you'll take to it, but i like the phrase
'Absence is presence' thats the basis of my stuff
Pz.
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April 1st, 2005, 03:38 PM
#3
I thought that the last two lines in this poem were the best it sort of tied the whole piece together and it gave it the emotion that it didnt quite have in the beginning. Nice work, keep posting.
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