Truth

[Telekinetic]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=123086

Just a few bars gettin shit off my chest



Froze in time runnin soul sunken with immorality
Comparing myself to things would just be torn reality
I was born an bread to believe lies every thing about me
I have come to dispise leaving me received un whole
Watching corrupt politicians an people deceived unfold
Dancin to the devils music people in they seats turn cold
Conspire an watch revolutionaries in they crib burn slow
I’ve developed a new perspective its now your turn grow
Perceive this deceitful nation for what it is just a joke
The government stays masturbating in our undrank coke
Distortion of truth blatantly fed to us no hope for the exodus
From soulless heartless media inside almost sittin right next to us
Keeping an image to keep us in order while they sit on the border
Of being slave owners its sorta like a social disorder
I cant afford a pot to piss in sorta like im missin in action
But they piss in my pot for me just fake Christian actin
Jaws contractin around society sucking us lifeless
Cheap labor dieing slow is this what my life is?
--------------------------------------------------------------------


Didnt put the time that needed to be in this.
I was wondering if it is sounding ok?

[Telekinetic]

Uppin this shit dont sleep...........................

[Telekinetic]

Uppin again come on people I get slept on more than sheets an pillows
Or streets by hobos I get no sleep from nodoz just peep my skill yo

In the mood lol
Anyway peep this shit

[Endeva.]

thought this was ok... you need to work on your transitions tho.... it will help to pull it together more.... also your lines could be revised, syllable wise... some seemed a bit stretched out.... also not keen on 1 syllable rhyming at the end of lines.... try to stay away from this........ content not bad... jus work on the overall construction of ya drops.... ~one~

[a-list]

You kno wat,i agree wit dev.U need to structure ur flow diff.It ain't smooth but mayb u spit different.Anyway nice drop.Some real truth shining thru.Yo feed my open mic drop if u can:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=123370
peace.

[ELEETE]

Not bad here my dawg...Dev pretty muched covered it...Your transitions were a little off but you aint bad...Keep at it...Itll come to you...But yea you was sounding ok man...keep at it dawg...

[Telekinetic]

uppin for a little more input..

[Key Tone]

I have come to dispise leaving me received un whole
Watching corrupt politicians an people deceived unfold


^^So true.......man i liked it...like every1 said work on transitions cuz it makes the flow smoother. But u did ok.

Check my latest one. Called writers block 13th Amendment Feat Wise.

[UNDEAD.]

this was a nice piece just your transitions was a bit off but this was really nice good approach on the topic.

[Telekinetic]

upping for more input

[Telekinetic]

upping