So...

[Emily]

...There's a hole in my mind
where a yo-yo spins
Eternally. Up and down
When I think of Peace, it spins around
Noosing my neck; depleting my blood
Stopping it, in its track
It's never safe, going to hell
It's never easy, coming back

[Jukon]

i think the harshness of this is what i like about it. so set in stone that things are repetitive, the same thoughts, over and over, getting darker every time they enter your mind. peace being that end all moment, wanting it, even thinking about the emptiness, the freedom, ties up the noose and all but wraps itself around your neck. i really liked the last 2 lines. it tied everything up (no pun intended, just kidding, the pun is intended)

anyway, i really liked this. the reality, the anguish, it's great. good read. it's one of those pieces that looms over me, a hint of worry unsure if it should be there. but, great writing, and great way of conveying emotion, or lack thereof. i'm not sure.

[Fatrick Swayze]

Noosing my neck.

That was s great phrase. This is way to short lil mama. Write soem more lol
This had a good feel to it and it was buidling nicely. Wish there was more though

[TheIllyricist]

...There's a hole in my mind
where a yo-yo spins
Eternally. Up and down
When I think of Peace, it spins around

I want you to write more because I'm selfish, and that there is a great element of an underlying tone that remains prevalent in a lot of your pieces. I'd like to dwell there in a large chunk of poetry! Perhaps underlying isn't the right word, as Jukon put it; the harshness. It's there, but it also the casual nature of it. The yo-yo spins. Up and down. Again, and again. What is life, if not repetition in many aspects... The hole in your mind. I like that little bit. As though there's something missing up there, kind of a different view than a hole in one's heart. A hole in the mind that prevents one from acquiring a sense of stillness and peace.

Noosing my neck; depleting my blood
Stopping it, in its track
It's never safe, going to hell
It's never easy, coming back

Noosing my neck was nice. When you try to think of the calm, something up there wraps around your neck and chokes you. You've been to hell, and are trying to climb back with a rope around your neck that gets tighter and tighter the further you crawl upwards out of that hell. Question is, will you let the rope choke you and pull you back, or will you take those scars but break the nylon and free yourself. 'So...' is a nice title for this. I almost get a sense of apathy, and the difficulties of finding a way out of that trap. Personally speaking, I wasn't fond of the final three lines as I was the first five. The first five gave me that unique vibe I know comes from you, but the final three felt used/overused; I could see anyone write that. That's just me, take what you will. I have to provide some critical feedback as well. I still want more. I'm greedy.

Enjoyable read, as short as it was. Thanks for that, Em.

[Cody Phoenix]

Inception-like. Cool. A sense of despair and hopelessness... that feel of something constantly eluding you. You weaved all this together to create some kind of melancholic/somber mindfuck. Real dope. I'd say it's lacking content but sometimes, 'less is more'.