Week 4: 'PhX 2 - 1* vs SELF ACTIVATE 3 - 0* OPEN FOR VOTES SELF ACTIVATE wins 3-0

[Cody Phoenix]

http://s30.postimg.org/tx0ztlqbl/Sacred.png

Verses Due: Sunday, October 25th

A 24 hour extension will be allowed if you give 24 hours notice and your opponent agrees. No last minute extensions.

Line Limits: 20-40 Lines

@'phX
@SELF ACTIVATE

Topics:

http://www.thatcreativefeeling.com/w...g2-800x675.jpg

http://www.thatcreativefeeling.com/w...by-ZedLord.jpg

Kaleidoscopic Minds

Metaphoric Mysteries

Splintered Hearts and Battered Lesions


Good luck, have fun and check in!

Note: Please use the topic or include the picture you've chosen as the title/or focal point to your piece!

[Cody Phoenix]

checkkity check

[SELF ACTIVATE]

Check

[Cody Phoenix]

"If you put stress and anger together
you'll always be a stranger."

http://i.imgur.com/8docqK0.png



Our Stress divides the spirit inside, your hearing collides with fear in the mind,
you start feeding at night this demon that hides and becomes a mirror you fight,
it comes with no reason or rhyme, no feeling but lies, seemin' like you need it at times,
so you get close to it, as close as you can like you've chosen a friend to keep you alive..
it's the loneliest sin we're all hopelessly with, it controls - with a grin - every piece of your life..
and you never really see it inside.

It Takes the ilk of our whole, pills and the bowl just to see it simply unroll,
to bloom a wilted old rose, where feelings are cold and chills to the bone,
crying where symphony's mold is hand and hand with what misery wrote,
and because all your emotions're broke, alone on the ropes gripping your throat
You call it quits, all of it! Cos this blistering stroke of madness is slithering slow,
finding a home at the rip in your soul...

Rage releases ways to bleed it in an emotional coma numb to face and feeling,
it's the pathos peaking with that patient 'demon' who awaits his freedom..
so your sight's blank, time breaks, your eyes frame escape where fight plays mind games,
and you find ways to chime pains and lie awake and ride away til night'll change,
but nothing is something that'll find its way to finally break riding those waves
changing those tides in your wake.

Always cussing in pain, and truly nothing we say can come without shame,
on the cusp of our hate 'till it ruptures the veins seeming like everyone is to blame,
cos we're stuck up in the shade as something awakes where suffocation delays,
delaying everything we've wanted to say but nothin' will change, nothin' relates...
there's no givin' a fuck in our ways.. so lets call this a simple coming of age...
Because Nothing's the same.

Negativity comes as thunder to rain, a blundering chain of nothing to say,
depression swallows us whole as we're lost in it's storm under this place,
One on one with nothing to face.

Grief entwines the easel life's been painted on breaching mind, body and soul,
where suicide'll elope with every possible end to this never ending bottling trope..

Entirely dying inside, fighting for life, death, whatever helps you cope with this problem,
you're broken and lost in this broken old coffin where you're constantly hoping to stop it..
Nothing's accomplished.


with Reckless abandonment in tandem with the vastly grim man within..
that someone you've come to know as the S.T.R.A.N.G.E.R.
you battle with..

[SELF ACTIVATE]

Purgatory Confessions
http://i.imgur.com/8docqK0.png
I'm old, cold, and all alone, staring at the Moon's glow at the Crossroads...
Where I'm bout to go only God knows...Tell the truth tho I just wanna go home!
Never been the holy type, you know, white robes and halos I'd rather be a ghost
Or an apparition -- standing in the window like a horrid vission
...a poltergiest stuck in limbo slamming doors and dishes...

Cause hell...

I'm not even sure if they'll let me in,
I spent my first forty year in the Devil's Den
I mean, I tried to be a saint but I was made outta wicked sin!
That's what I told the first bitch that I raped at ten...it's no coincidence
That her name was Eve and my favorite thing was the taste of ribs...
I didn't hate her I just needed to relieve myself!
I'd go to sleep and then I'd dream up a living Hell...

Heard Satan say, "You're only free if you be yourself"
So am I wrong if I stole and I cheated? ...Well
I needed wealth, I couldn't help, I wasn't into the mod-es-ty!
I learned from priest how to rob like a modern thief
You play the sheep and tell 'em God needs
Every polished piece ... of gold that they own
Or they're soul's peace won't be guaranteed!

I know It's cheap but I tread down the Sinner's Trail
No begging Peter ... Cause I rather do a stint in Hell
No goodie two shoe cause my "sole" has a rotten smell
I'll share a cell with Hitler 'til my bones start to freakin melt
Cause Heaven's stale like a poem or a fairytale
No postin' bail cause I'm hopin' that I go to Hell

Cause at least down there they probably got pussy for sell!

So I'll dwell where the Devil suffers
And eat of fruit that they served at the Last Supper!
Cause me 'n Judas shared the blood of the same mother
Her name's Medusa and Anubis really fuckin' loved her!
The thunder cracks as I turn my back on The Pearly Gates!
Tell Hades thanks and I'll greet 'em at the burning bank
The River Styx --  where the sinners sail to meet The Fates
Just cut my string -- me and Dante got a doube date
With Death and the Devil down at level 8!

Just let it blaze!

[Endeva.]

thought I might as well be the first to throw a vote down seeing as I'm not doing much right now...

so ive just read 'em both, 2 very different drops and I've got to say quite evenly matched, makes it harder for me though lol... if phX had integrated a story into his, a real narrative, it would have been so much easier to decide which way to vote, as or me that's what it was lacking, something to tie it all together, so its not so much like a list of bullet point sorta thing. as I felt the schematics were a bit smoother in his verse, but no direction,
whereas... SELF ACTIVE came with a narrative, a story with direction,, only, too me a lot of the rhyming, mainly in the first half, seemed forced or didn't really rhyme, thought the last third it picked up for a solid ending though...

overall... this was tough to decide on a winner, but im gonna have to go with, vote=SELF ACTIVE

in the end the narrative took it for me

decent battle guys

..........pz

[Phalanx]

Phx, The positive side is obvious. You had some solod scheme work, and you did a great job being descriptive in an introspective sense. Such details are the key to character development and help establish a strong emotional vibe. And I feel you did that here. You established a tone, and built a character. But you never progressed beyond that point to give the character a conflict or resolution. Just doesn't feel complete at all.

Self Activate, I actually enjoyed this approach. It flowed solidly, and the narration progressed at a brisk pace. Solid use of irony and humor. I mean you set a light hearted tone while talking about the likes of ten year old rapists, that in itself says something. While it didn't have the descriptive detail of your opponents, it conjured a lot of imagery as it went on. It ended on a strong note. It was a fun read, with enough positives to ignore the basic narration.

Vote - Self Activate

[143]

P I like the self check of one's mind state. The flow was there for the most part and you brought out some good imagery. I could feel what was going on and feel the sympathy for the character. But with that being said, I thought that there were no conclusion to the drop in which it left me looking for the light because being left in that state became stale and monotonous. It needed an ending

S.A. You had all the technical aspects on point. Dropping in the manner you did gave your verse the support that you need to bring out the best.
I learned from priest how to rob like a modern thief
You play the sheep and tell 'em God needs

this line killed it for me because of the irony of it all. Overall I could go into great detail but I know that it will be repeating what the others had said so I have to give this one to

SELF ACTIVATE