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Good Luck to Both Competitors.
@143 @Professor Frost
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Best Topical Writer: 143
No, no check for you
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I can see the words written with her eyes......
The soften silent cries that despise the death she can't hide
Twitches motion for reprieve in the actions begotten by her deceiver
Pitching heart meters to decibels calling forth a heaven sent reliever
Then life escapes out the back door.....
Now 5 years to the day, where grace has withered souls
Died tears remain to replace gloss on weathered floors
I score regret in the brevity of my "to do" list
Pouring sweat in supersets, egging facial mask to rid my lisp
The inability to clearly portray the feelings dismay was dealing
This play was seething with pain that was reeling my being....
How could I let the calmness invade my structural integrity
Sedating the deviling that was palming its embalming longevity
Steps in reality transfered into spatial dreams-capes
Voiding legalities deferred freezing from glacial displacement
Just adjacent to the basement of horror, being raped
From principalities incurred, so disturbing, a gravely statement
And I answer back with sullen activity and darken rooms......
Closed eyes...
Visioning a summit that has sunshine, disposing lies
Imposing ties to the positivity its unheralded rays project
Offering days reflecting an introspect of creating damage
Relating the jargon the heart yells for a sedating bandage
Could this be the way that I can let her soul freely skip
Queening the ship that she once sailed forgetting being sick
Invoke the eviction to the chains this straining strengthened
Taking wondrous view at a new fresh interest in living
Pensioning regret to the waters below...I sit alone....
Low tide folds the secular liking of nothingness, atoned
Bestowing the gloss washed away from former dried tears
Revitalizing the despising, now to the wasting of deprived years
How I survive falling from a mountain of melancholy.....
I couldn't tell you the answer even spouting mental harmony
But now I don't care....
It's an irrelevancy that I do not spare
I'll just revel in the feel of this ocean playing upon my freed toes......
http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/20...45-d7y5w8d.jpg
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Best Topical Writer: 143
I'll try to post sometime before midnight tomorrow (Friday). My bad on the delay my nigga.
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Just lost my verse and can't get it back.
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The Psychopaths of Hedonism
by Professor Frost
John, he's the woodland's enemy, who pretends to be
A scared wolf without a care, but he'll skin a sheep
He's in the deep - end rolling past her feet
Shark in a pool with a fast release... don't lose a limb
His mental massacre leaves you bruised within
Premeditation with medication,
It's sick how he kills, just because he goes to choose to sin
The way he molds his words could inspire the next
And his abstract views contained diction, higher than best
This man is a statistic that contains a fire that stretched,
A veil over his victim's eyes, as he writ the lies...
She never noticed his motive was desire of sex
Cool criminal, codeine cups coped with his demon
When the drugs wore off, she choked off the semen
A married man, never a family man. poor as shit
But every time he busted on her he did it for the kids
Explorin' bliss, what a nigga. An eyesore; social stigma
A ride? Sure. He conducted the murder while he wrote a picture
Nobody in touch heard her cry or had note the liquor,
That laced his breathe as he calmly left her place of rest
Later he sought his wife, right after he bought some light
Sparked up that chalk of white; now he's possessed like a poltergeist
The air is stale, and even more stale when he's coughin'
He's got the hammer in his pocket, he wants to put a nail in his coffin
Right before he shot this neck, he noticed he got a text
From his best friend. who contemplated a cops arrest...
Originally Posted by Tom @ 2:31 AM
http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/i/20...42-d7y4c9l.jpg
They converge on the city, like locusts for cabbages
Iron faces. Gaze with the slight focus of mannequins
Smoking on good tree, bite roaches in the packaging
Silent nightmares that write notes up in the mattress beds
Inverse pleasures spin by as they reciprocate with the time
The soul often decays,
When it goes to lead with the weight of the mind
& greed is at the rooted source as the seed bait of a crime
When will we learn to not fall victim sin?
Even after Eden, I guess we still need the basics to climb
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Somebody take these lines out
@L.E @Brandon Cee
"& people wonder why my mouth twitches with this smile on my face
They can't fuckin' imagine how it feels to be us, the shit's a shame
Btw, here goes cool nicknames for us: Guile & Disgrace"
And merge these 2 lines
"The soul often decays,
When it goes to lead with the weight of the mind"
Thanks
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143. This was alright man. Really wasn't the quality of writing I'd expect from you in a playoff battle. Espesy after seeing you almost eliminate Brandon Cee hardly a year ago. The concept itself wasn't all that bad but I feel like your wording killed it in the sense it was far too elementary and bland. And I can't stand frost so me saying this kind of stuff to a fellow crew member and Frost's opponent shows my honesty in this league lol . The flow was pretty boring. Really wasn't much of a rhyme scheme and when there was it was really simple and didn't help the pace much. I'm not sure if you struggled with topics or if you rushed this. Either way, can't give ya much credit man. Sorry.
Your style reminds me a lot of Mariah or Chris ( both Brandon's relatives ). It's weird that I just noticed that. Maybe more so Chris since Mariah had a better rhyme scheme. Either way. Wording was okay. Nothing amazing but better than 143's. Rhyme scheme is in the same boat. Nothing spectacular but enough to get you ahead in the score cards. Concept was okay but I felt the quotations and overall structure was messy. Okay read, also not really playoff material though.
Vote Frost for a slightly more average read.
I'll vote on this later or in the morning...
[youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]
first thing I'd say is, I've read better from both of you, and I mean mechanically as well as concept, not saying they were weak just not your finest hours lol... technically I thought both were on a similar level, quite a lot of weak rhyming on both sides, like seeming a bit forced, maybe that's just because I'm English, the accent thing lol... I'm gonna take this down to the story aspect of it for my vote, simply because the other criteria sorta evens itself out
therefore... I'm goin to have to go with Frost, it was just more to my taste, the only thing that nearly swung it the other way was his use of quotes, just felt it wasn't required and hindered the read if anything, so...
close but there it is, v/frost
.....pz
[youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]
Great battle guys. Sorry I didn't get a chance to vote on it, but both of you had some solid drops! I have seen better by both, but this was still a good battle!
Professor Frost Wins and moves onto the Semi-Finals.
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