CHAMP WK 11: 一四三(6-2) vs. Day-Day(4-1) [一四三 Wins]

[OG Maestro]

http://imageshack.com/a/img513/6682/ye6d.png
CHAMP MATCH,
WINNER REMAINS/BECOMES THE HW CHAMPION OF THE SS LEAGUE!

@ 一四三 @Day-day

Pick 1 Topic from the list & create a verse from it
Topic list is here, http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...Week-10-Topics

Check ins due on Friday by 4:29AM
Verses are due on Saturday by 11:59PM
Voting ends on Monday by 11:59PM
New matches are set up on Tuesday's Morning(Before Noon)
(All times run on Pacific Time)

Please be conscience of the full list of rules
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...642/index.html

5 Votes are required this week.
3 Regular battles, 1 Contenders battle, 1 Champ
Every regular missing vote results in a -1 vote for each battle on your next SS League battle. Every Contenders & Champ missing vote results in a -2 vote for each battle on your next SS League battle.

P.S: Recognition will be given to VOTW(Verse of The Week)

Goodluck!

[143]

check and same to you

[143]

Her brain..broke like a road torqued resembling chain smoke
Straining strokes to a fascist ego made uncensored veins choke
Appearance...glossy to the touch of reality minted in her visions
So coherence is a ousted fallacy delivered in shadow premonitions
Money makes her go down....the sun destroys the beekeeper
Letting swarms penetrate the unaware to relieve them of trinkets
Thinking it's a commonality between the facade of a peacekeeper
Until her streetsweeper of a mouth fill minds of deceit, Drink it
DRINK IT becomes a chant her body yells for the poisonous thrills
As the boisterous chill, the infection yeilds for cantankerous ills
Modernly a widow who dine on the misfortunes to line her apartment
With lethargic lives stitched into her beaded bra....
Relieving jaws of jeweled teeth, brutal with the dislodgement
Pawning people's civility so her name is vile like a defeated caw
Manipulation dawns pathways as she fleeces in psychotic dreams
Despotic pawns hypnotically nauseous hypothising schemes
You can tell the warning sign...a mutilated smoke trail
Beaded bras screaming blind the lubricated song of attention
Hiding the perils that will instantly invoke hell.....
Widowing you from your normality with shadowy premonitions...
http://illusion.scene360.com/wp-cont...ija_jan_05.jpg

This is the verse I want to put up....

[OG Maestro]

Rhythm - Day-Day

This shit was a fucking game changer.
The flow was INFECTIOUS nigga! Without the flow, the verse would not have been the same.

Flashing with brilliance;
I'm determined to stack my cash to the ceiling
Never slowing down till I'm in a casket and willing.
I got women on my cock saying my jackets appealing,
Unknowing that its actually my hatchet they're feeling.
I like to slice and dice 'em right before i spice and bite 'em,
The price is twice as high if I add the rice and glycine.

Simplistic, but polished.

Rhyming - Day-Day

This is debatable. My personal preference was Day-Day with simpler and wider multi-syllabic rhymes.
They simply WORKED. All the way through. Nothing felt rushed. It was the epitome of Rap. A flowing tundra of dopeness.
143 had forced rhymes and inorganic schemes.
I noticed the AA BCBC scheme 143 had going, it was valiant but it wasn't hitting me. At all.

Thinking it's a commonality between the facade of a peacekeeper
Until her streetsweeper of a mouth fill minds of deceit, Drink it
DRINK IT becomes a chant her body yells for the poisonous thrills
As the boisterous chill, the infection yeilds for cantankerous ills

This was great dude, I appreciated the effort here but this was the height of the verse and it lacked consistency of enjoyability.
This part of the verse was the only part where I could nod my head a bit and appreciate the craft to a good extent.

Creativity - Tie

143's more creative spin fell too flat against Day-Day's. To be honest, Day-Day's story was a first for me.
Never saw a Ted Bundy/Texas Chainsaw Massacre styled verse before. Brutal and cool. But, I can't let my personal preference dictate which was more creative, in this battle.

Storytelling - Tie

A story that gripped my attention versus a story that lacked the addictive feel of reading that a topical verse should have. Again, Day-Day got this for me but my personal preference got in the way of this category.

Signifying - 143

By a large margin 143 won this category. Technicals were very good.

Pawning people's civility so her name is vile like a defeated caw
Manipulation dawns pathways as she fleeces in psychotic dreams

Imagery - 143

Again, 143 had lines that were good. Almost darkly poetic.

Her brain..broke like a road torqued resembling chain smoke
Straining strokes to a fascist ego made uncensored veins choke

This battle came down to enjoyability versus technicality. I had to go with who captured my attention from start to finish.

Vote: Day-Day for the more enjoyable and flowing read

[CLA919]

Ouch, two totally different styles, both, with impeccable delivery...

143 had good use of multi-s and edgar type stance (only, I couldn't quite tell what the topic was) better rhyme scheme with switching up of styles, etc...

Day-Day had better flow overall, easy read, and laid out concept. Nice, simple, to the point.

I tend to like less perplexity but I didn't mind the images portrayed by 143 (if that makes sense) it wasn't too hard to visualize. it was a good read. Almost is if in different leagues... I'm torn

[CLA919]

V/ 143

[Stranger]

quotables

[b]一四三[/g]
Appearance...glossy to the touch of reality minted in her visions
So coherence is a ousted fallacy delivered in shadow premonitions

Money makes her go down....the sun destroys the beekeeper
Letting swarms penetrate the unaware to relieve them of trinkets
Thinking it's a commonality between the facade of a peacekeeper
Until her streetsweeper of a mouth fill minds of deceit, Drink it

/\ that was dope as fuck rigth here

Manipulation dawns pathways as she fleeces in psychotic dreams
Despotic pawns hypnotically nauseous hypothising schemes

dude this was fucking impeccable for the most part, you ended this on the bad note tho, I know you where trying to make the double use of shadow premonitions connect, but it seemed repetitive, I liked the vibe of this verse, it kind of made me feel like I was there.

Day Day
I like to slice and dice 'em right before i spice and bite 'em,
The price is twice as high if I add the rice and glycine.
Weak in the knees from the beatings that please,
Every money hungry whore is appeasing to tease.
I sell their bodies on the streets till they catch a disease,
Filled with greed and gluttony I feed these demons hungrily,
because it's abundantly clear that I'm only here for the company

it was strange you went for a more humorous approach than an emotional approach, I don't know what to say man, this verse was good for what it was, but it needed something more, it lacked that topical feel, I think you picked the wrong topic here, and that must of been a trick topic thrown in by mr. p.
with that said your vocab played an intregal role in this verse, but you should of captilazed on that, this verse would of been unstoppable if it where written in a more emotional context.


Overall
This battle was a 1-2 punch battle compared to mine and frosts lmfao, anyway, both heads did a really nice job, but please read my explanations, and I think that sums up this battle perfectly, day day picked a bad topic and it hurt him, anyone else would of been dominated, but day day did a nice job here, 143 WOW some of that shit was impeccable and everything was well written, the psycotic dreams line killed it, I had to reread that line 3 times because it was so dope, so yeagh, good battle here definately, but 143 is going to edge this

BRING BACK MY FUCKING EDIT BUTTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[miracle]

the dude with the symbol name- u had a good write here, nice imagery with good wording n a strong delivery. i thought u had a decent vocab n a well written verse
day- i like how u took this topic, nice use of the topic. good flow.. vocab could have been upped lil in this to make a stronger read but overall not a bad verse

vote:一四三 <--that dude won for a stronger more creative verse even tho i liked days twist on the topic

[OG Maestro]

On a vote of 3-2, 143 Wins.

Closed.