nothing
vs
You’re the type of guy who scatters around looking for loose change
But you couldn’t find a dime; I guess Obama failed his presidential campaign
ohkish
weak battle, vin ive seen u drop better, ur lines werent good. heff ur concepts were kinda wack. vin had one decent punnch against none. no hate keep battling
v/Vin
Its simple neighbor, im blowin endo vapors
run in ya window blow out ya temple with my widow maker
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Youll be creating damage to your record, after getting drowned with my flows
So fuck your crew. You're like the only son with a bunch of sisters, you're surrounded by hoes
ok opener...good concept..could have been flipped way harder...too wordy
And your verse is prolly stolen, highjacked, or confiscated
Cause you never drop hard shit. Lyrically you're constipated
constipated/shit...terrible...probably 1 of the most played out
So quit rapping all together, and try and come up with a new dance
Because if rap currency, youd be currently collecting foodstamps
at least ur set-up bars make sense...but i dont get the food stamps..is that a try at a metaphor or something...
I usually call you're wifey over for some nightly strokin
But the whore say she ain't into foreplay, so we just do it
like the Nike slogan
nope...nike slogan/do it/check/swoosh all that shits played beyond out
I skipped college,but its cool. I gets knowledge cause your bitch offers smarts
So don't me mad when you walk in on me mounting her,
And it looks like mixed martial arts
doesnt even make sense...terrible set-up bar complete play on "punchline"...offer "smarts" to mounting her to martial arts u need to keep some kind of train of thought...
You’re the type of guy who scatters around looking for loose change
But you couldn’t find a dime; I guess Obama failed his presidential campaign
terrible opener...first line was a double syllable rhyme 2nd line was a 6...and plus punch was poorly delivered
You’re probably sitting in front of your computer attacking it savagely
But the webcam won’t be enough to make L’s in your memory remain photographically
terrible...no kind of rhyme scheme u just jotting shit down
You’re a little bee, who bites with no sting and writes about nothing,
Anyone can see L coming for you, Im talking about a loss and not about love, youngin
lol...wow...not in a good way at all
You tried to go shootin at the range but you couldn’t even hit the trigger
I couldn’t blame ya for that, cause your fat ass must come with a huge finger
wats wrong with ur rhyming trig-ger...double syllable rhyme which means the last 2 syllables should rhyme in the punch...fing-er at least u got 1 part...punch was on the border of rough and terrible
You and your dad probably like roleplayin’ where you talk to each other’s snickers
Bickering about whose is bigger, I guess you could call the game “Twitter”
snickers and twitter doesnt rhyme either...no punch doesnt connect...y would it be called twitter...doesnt make sense...
Heff I hate that fl form but it is wat it is...many of ur punches need to b reworded and thought about a lil longer...and creativity def. needs a step-up chances r if u thought of it right away its probably been thought about numerous times before...Vinzr should really work on everything creativity...cohesiveness...rhyming...lol shit everything bro...
v/ heff
"the ink of a scholar, is worth a thousand times more, than the blood of a martyr"--lupe fiasco
"I'm sonnin' ya'll like father's day/disrespect pop and get popped like Marvin Gaye" Skillz
WRITTEN VOICES
Preciate the feedback cuzz.
I don't break a sweat when i wreck creational damage.
I do that in my spare time.. that's recreational damage
You're like the only son with a bunch of sisters, you're surrounded by hoes
^concept was cool
So quit rapping all together, and try and come up with a new dance
Because if rap currency, youd be currently collecting foodstamps
^ok
vs
nothing
vote->heff for having the better verse, vin didnt bring anything that stuck out
And your verse is prolly stolen, highjacked, or confiscated
Cause you never drop hard shit. Lyrically you're constipated
So quit rapping all together, and try and come up with a new dance
Because if rap currency, youd be currently collecting foodstamps
I usually call you're wifey over for some nightly strokin
But the whore say she ain't into foreplay, so we just do it
like the Nike s
You’re a little bee, who bites with no sting and writes about nothing,
Anyone can see L coming for you, Im talking about a loss and not about love, youngin
Heff dollas took this easily. More punches and more creativity.
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Youll be creating damage to your record, after getting drowned with my flows
So fuck your crew. You're like the only son with a bunch of sisters, you're surrounded by hoes
lil stretched but ok
And your verse is prolly stolen, highjacked, or confiscated
Cause you never drop hard shit. Lyrically you're constipated
lol, decent lil played
So quit rapping all together, and try and come up with a new dance
Because if rap currency, youd be currently collecting foodstamps
bad wording but good idea
I usually call you're wifey over for some nightly strokin
But the whore say she ain't into foreplay, so we just do it
like the Nike slogan
def. played..nice flow though
I skipped college,but its cool. I gets knowledge cause your bitch offers smarts
So don't me mad when you walk in on me mounting her,
And it looks like mixed martial arts
Dam coulda been a good hit but very bad wording for me...
Vs.
You’re the type of guy who scatters around looking for loose change
But you couldn’t find a dime; I guess Obama failed his presidential campaign
ummm...what?
You’re probably sitting in front of your computer attacking it savagely
But the webcam won’t be enough to make L’s in your memory remain photographically
eh bad wording here sounds like your saying he forgets his losses quick..idk coulda been nice if re-worded right
You’re a little bee, who bites with no sting and writes about nothing,
Anyone can see L coming for you, Im talking about a loss and not about love, youngin
uhh...na....miss
You tried to go shootin at the range but you couldn’t even hit the trigger
I couldn’t blame ya for that, cause your fat ass must come with a huge finger
no....nobody cares about fat fingers bro...get more creative
You and your dad probably like roleplayin’ where you talk to each other’s snickers
Bickering about whose is bigger, I guess you could call the game “Twitter”
man you got some good attempts but they keep missing.. try and have your first line connect with your punch, snickers and twitter!?...na....
-Overall ima have to give this to Heff for atleast connecting, even though they were weak, it still counts in a battle like this, Vin, your getting better ideas fam just need to close with them, no hate elevate.
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