Shoe Strings

[HighEngineChief]

Faithful shoe-strings hang patiently off the tongue
waiting for me to step on them so they can
worship the ground I walk on.
scrounging all of the pennies off of the sidewalk to
bye a modest thought of making a living when all along I'm living
just to keep walking.

But still the strings stalk me as though my feet promised
a promise land of Adidas
when all I can afford are Pay-less sneakers.
Weighing my options on a scale teetering on the side of
"You're never going to be anything but meager!"
making a hissing noise as I step off
and the rusted scale squeaks even.

Meek shoe strings sleeping against my ankles, dreaming of loafers
when they know damn well they will never know them.
Yet still they press on as if nothing's wrong , pore fibers
poking out at their plastic ends like a flower blooming
and flopping as I strut along. Dragging them through the grains of dirt,
seeping in sloppy slabs of hot mud out of Egypt across that sinking sea floor,
struggling to breath beneath me as we hustle to reach shore.

I feel more Pharaoh then staff-wielding hero,
but still they latch on to me with resolve even as the bog of nothingness
draws nearer. Why? Why me untangled threads so wild?
Why scrape the roads beside me with a tempered smile? No reply,
they just nestle beneath my soles and cry, then come back up
with red lined, open eyes. Dragging along, skipping about on the dew
powdered lawn; my faithful shoe-strings, together we move feet.
Together.

[dreaming_awake]

I found this to be really good.
I like how the shoestrings and the character take on different traits as the piece progresses, but still manage to stay the same.
My only problem is that the Pharaoh line threw me off a little. I'm sure it has some significance, but it was lost on me.
I like how this was fairly realistic and not too surreal, it allows the reader to better connect.



But still the strings stalk me as though my feet promised
a promise land of Adidas
when all I can afford are Pay-less sneakers.
Weighing my options on a scale teetering on the side of
"You're never going to be anything but meager!"
making a hissing noise as I step off
and the rusted scale squeaks even.

This I like. The scale metaphor was used very well. This was actually my favorite stanza although it was the least flashy.

[abiona]

^Pharaoh / staff-wielding hero refers to the Pharaoh and Moses (at least I think it does =])

I loved this. Made me smile.

I really like pieces that are able to pack so much significance into such seemingly insignificant things.

Your lines were clever and the images throughout were so well constructed... I couldn't help but smile in recognition.

This whole stanza:

Meek shoe strings sleeping against my ankles, dreaming of loafers
when they know damn well they will never know them.
Yet still they press on as if nothing's wrong , pore fibers
poking out at their plastic ends like a flower blooming
and flopping as I strut along. Dragging them through the grains of dirt,
seeping in sloppy slabs of hot mud out of Egypt across that sinking sea floor,
struggling to breath beneath me as we hustle to reach shore.

was great to me. The strings sleeping against ankles, the frayed ends of the laces...super tiny details, but those are what makes a piece for me.

The ending was perfect. In just a few words you took it to another level. Well done and much enjoyed.




And side note... I saw at least one link. Can you get the other up there? Tanks =]