Portraits

[Rhombus]

Portraits

The scarlet painting embodies her jewel,
once the pearl of her existance is now frozen;
The frame was sturdy, cold to the touch,
but the warmth that was once there...
adds to her desire, clutching the frame.

The scarlet painting embodies his smile,
was the one to turn a room into his own,
gentle at heart, though sturdy he stands;
the smile that he held...
adds to her desire, releasing, giving unto pain.

The scarlet painting embodies part of herself,
the essence of life, the essence they drew from;
Her heartbeats are less predictible, different...
solemn, she spoke nothing, warmth gone...
her blood danced to the song that her love,
though frozen...
still played.

love...

[Content]

repetative..but worth readin...a relationship of the past...a lost love..then how time dosent stop for anyone and music dosent stop...if im wrong im wrong but this was worth readin

stay up..peace

[Varentao]

damn..

..that kind of hit hard (and deep)...it being about but i'll still try to make some short techincal comments on it...

...it had a kind of effortless flow, which stop-started to good effect...well not so much stop start, but one which at times slowed down, to good effect..

...vocab used complemented the subject, and the piece overall well...not overly complicated, but also not too simplistic that it'd to an injustice to the subject...enabled the reader to really get into the piece...

...okay, so once or twice it did seem to go off a bit, but i can't really put my finger on what it was exactly...

....respect...

[Rhombus]

Thanks for the replies, I apperciate it all, yeah I felt that same feeling too when I over-read the piece a few times, but I know that it can be worked out, then again if you dig harder into the piece every line does have meaning and flows nicely, just how you percive it, but I feel you, thanks..

love..

[Content]

Thought U Was A Girl .......I Appologize

~Content~

[Calisto]

I liked the repitition, that's one thing that really interests me in poetry. I liked how from the first line you could tell that this was something deep and the rhythm was mellow and sad. The picture was a good addition. And I loved how instead of simply saying red you wrote "scarlett" A Beautiful poem!