User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Writers pain- Part two

  1. #1
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    10,394
    Battle Record
    18-1
    Awards OM HOF PS Champion/IE Champion PS HOF PS Season champ Legendary PC PC HOF

    Writers pain- Part two

    Writer’s pain- Part two.
    Silence speaks the masses
    Yet we are the soul that
    Breaks the tongues into
    Speech; Bursting our
    Hearts liquor towards
    A lone piece of canvas

    Frustrated youths carve
    Hate into the word love;
    Twisting bitter sheets of
    Sweat into pools of
    Violence; yet we are
    The truth that sings
    Louder than actions can
    Ever match; ink to eyelids,
    Viva la torn paper

    Write to shed light, to hell with broken dreams
    these kids are alone, so write away their screams.


    Pull your chest closer
    They need your heart
    To be in your rib cage;
    Or else who will scribe
    Away their tears in the
    Rain? Breathe into
    Their throats
    To allow them to see
    Their lungs are all that
    Is needed to succeed

    Numbing your finger
    Tips only result in
    A crying shame

    Write to shed light, to hell with broken dreams
    these kids are alone, so write away their screams.


    Women’s underwear
    Must be far from mind
    When you bring the pen
    To utter words of heart;
    An art form cannot be
    Used as a date rape

    Write to reach to those
    Who see turmoil as the
    Only escape; take your
    Art form and clap the easel
    Into applause my friends

    Write to shed light, to hell with broken dreams
    these kids are alone, so write away their screams.


    -Poeta
    AI


    “¡Viva la Revolución!”

  2. #2
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    10,394
    Battle Record
    18-1
    Awards OM HOF PS Champion/IE Champion PS HOF PS Season champ Legendary PC PC HOF

    Re: Writers pain- Part two

    Upping.
    AI


    “¡Viva la Revolución!”

  3. #3
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    10,394
    Battle Record
    18-1
    Awards OM HOF PS Champion/IE Champion PS HOF PS Season champ Legendary PC PC HOF

    Re: Writers pain- Part two

    C'mon people
    AI


    “¡Viva la Revolución!”

  4. #4
     
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Age
    33
    Posts
    3,231
    Battle Record
    7-7

    Re: Writers pain- Part two

    This was a great piece man.. It read nice and smoothly and I love your wording throughout the piece..

    Frustrated youths carve
    Hate into the word love;
    Twisting bitter sheets of
    Sweat into pools of
    Violence; yet we are
    The truth that sings
    Louder than actions can
    Ever match; ink to eyelids,
    Viva la torn paper
    I like the message here.. how writers are the truth and their work speaks louder than anything..

    Great piece here man and I'm looking forward to reading more from you

  5. #5
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: Writers pain- Part two

    Damn. No Feedback? It's dead in this forum. I think we should get it back up again.

    The Thing I liekd the most about this peice was your wordplay. I felt it was brought to a new level from msot other peices. And That is cool. The Placement and use of your words was incredible and brought me deeper into the poem. I liked that. Your Emotion was different from your Sand peice. It was a bit more effective and more thoughtful. And I really liked your Imagenation here. That was a huge thing for me reading this dude. Your imagenaion is remarkible. Keep it up dude ..

    Want to collab in Open Mic?

    -Jon

  6. #6
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    10,394
    Battle Record
    18-1
    Awards OM HOF PS Champion/IE Champion PS HOF PS Season champ Legendary PC PC HOF

    Re: Writers pain- Part two

    Thanks alot guys.

    Appreciated.
    AI


    “¡Viva la Revolución!”

  7. #7
    Whatever, Fuck You HighEngineChief's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    910 NC
    Posts
    2,132
    Battle Record
    15-6

    Re: Writers pain- Part two

    I loved this piece, it had emotion and some amazing metaphores. I would quote some lines but i would just end up quoting the entire poem. Only thing that got me on this was the lines in italic, I think the idea was nice but the way they read on screen was a bit awkward and seemed out of place. Everything else on the other hand was extreamly dope, every word was chosen wisley and you really conveyed the feelings nicely. Definatly a Poeta piece. Great drop

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ne-333093.html
    Please RTF^^

  8. #8
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    In Your Head
    Posts
    26,914
    Battle Record
    242-30
    Awards LLL HOF PS Champion/IE Champion Legendary OM Legendary Member SS Season Champion SS HW Champion OM HOF FL Champion 200+ Wins Haiku Season Champion

    Re: Writers pain- Part two

    very nicely done. haven't read your work in a while, glad i peeped this one. dunno if this one was linked to the first one in any way but i didn't see the first one, or don't remember it anyways. I liked this though. it's almost like saying writers write to rid themselves and anyone else of their pain. but it also seemed like it was trying to send the message to write about better things in life instead of all the bad to make it a better form of art. I dunno, it was all over the place for me with a message. but it was good. thanks for the read dude.


    - Nash


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ns-333247.html
    ^feed pleace, Broken Patterns

    also, pm me if you're interested in a collab i'm organizing. got 2 people in on it already, willing for a 3rd.

  9. #9
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    10,394
    Battle Record
    18-1
    Awards OM HOF PS Champion/IE Champion PS HOF PS Season champ Legendary PC PC HOF

    Re: Writers pain- Part two

    Done, and thanks for the feed guys.
    AI


    “¡Viva la Revolución!”

  10. #10
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    10,394
    Battle Record
    18-1
    Awards OM HOF PS Champion/IE Champion PS HOF PS Season champ Legendary PC PC HOF

    Re: Writers pain- Part two

    Upping for more feed please guys
    AI


    “¡Viva la Revolución!”

Similar Threads

  1. My Pain...PART 1
    By Lil sista in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: June 11th, 2008, 12:30 PM
  2. Writers Pain.
    By Poeta Demonio in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: April 28th, 2006, 08:34 PM
  3. Writers Pain.
    By Poeta Demonio in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: April 27th, 2006, 02:37 PM
  4. Remain Unrecognized (part 2 n part 3)
    By tRiLL in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: May 11th, 2003, 11:23 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •