this was a good battle but imma have to go with 24
The namez 24/7 cuz I diss all fuckin day/
You no battling me is a price u gonna pay/
bitch callin me out wat were you thinkin/
This freestyle just started somebody give this kid a spankin/
Ill have u like a black on black crime/
But the black man gonna win is tha black man wit rhymes/
I no it probably takes u a whole fuckin day to write ya first verse/
It don’t matta to me either way u at ya worst/
This freestyle aint over till I say so/
Its gonna feel like you getting hit by ALI blow 4 blow/
Its not hard to tell whose gonna win this battle
I bet u were confused when u saw me wit ya grl/
Kissin up on her was like kissin a gay azz squirrel/
Don’t get it twisted I aint like that/
Go check ya grl its her and that’s a fact/
Enough wit ya grl you the 1 gonna lose/
This is my first battle here I got something to prove/
--Not gonna break every line down, but the major problem with your rhyme here is that you talked about yourself for about 3/4 of the battle. You should be focusing on throwing punches at your opponent. Work on your vocab also, find some new ways to say things so they don't sound played.
vs.
This is world war 3 which meanz i pull out the nucleur weaponz/
cuz u leave ur ass open 24/7 juss lik 7 -11/
--Eh, okay.
i waz 1nc juss sand but now im a pearl/
u must of been fuckin ur mom cuz my women dont lo0k lik a squirl/
--Okay lol... Kinda weak, but alright feed off his verse.
ur rthms is wack i dont even think ur skin feels ya/
u couldnt spit a h0t rythm if it came from the mouth of Godzilla/
--Okay.
czu u need to clean up ur mouth u nedd some colgate/
cuz im a veteran i toss around nowieghts czu there s no escape/
--Your structure got all fucked up here. Lil wack too.
i got made love 2 ya cuz i aint a hater/
but i murderd ur a$$ so i guess theres no try again lata/
--Weak.
--Overall nothing special, 24/7 you've got some major elevating to do, so does starz, but starz came the less wack of the two.
v/ starz
24 i alredy voted urs
starz ur verse was a lot better.more better punches and just more everythin.keep it up u take this 1.
iight keep the vote comin
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yo anybody no how to make a sig
if so do u think u can make me a tight one
private post me if so
ill rtf(return the favor)
.....................vote.........................
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C_MURDER LIL WAYNE man yall really suk if yall wanna record deal yall would'nt come close man im out
y0 wat the hell is u talkin bout stop freepostin h0
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yeah fa real
s0m1 vote on this........................................
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hahah nice battle i enjoyed reading it
vote- starz
reason for vote- 24/7 came ok till the last few lines of his verse where he fell off terribly.. when he started talking bout starz girl i felt it made his verse unoriginal and amatueric(i know its spelled wrong but who cares lol) now starz i felt had a very good comeback to 24/7's verse.. the mom, squirrel line was hilarious.. and so where a few other .. such as the 7/11 line @ godzilla line
for all these reasons i give my vote to starz
please hit this battle up with a vote its been open for weeks im up 4 to 0 in it
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=186206
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iight thanx il return thr fava 4 ya
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need more votes
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