User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: "Ribbon In The Sky" - Sublime D ft. Stevie Wonder

  1. #1
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Buffalo, NY
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,744
    Battle Record
    1-12

    "Ribbon In The Sky" - Sublime D ft. Stevie Wonder

    This is my next audio...as soon as i can find someone to make the beat...it's very long...but im proud of this one...



    A ribbon in the sky for our…
    love. . .


    When I met you I knew connection drew
    Siren’s attraction surpassing distraction
    My immediate reaction, to act with passion
    Irrational, but you cannot imagine
    The instantaneous passing of reason
    Love is a maelstrom in any season
    Appeasing its insatiable appetite
    Requires fortitude beyond that of human might
    Recondite signals incite peripheral urges
    Suddenly urgently surges from your purses
    Gorging the spongy tissues, an issue
    Arises, I still haven’t courted shorty
    And she’s seems to be evacuating shortly
    Facilitating circumstances nil
    Debilitating glance my stance is still
    But my heart overpowers my mind’s will
    Fear drops away…i say…”lady if I may”
    “Be granted the chance to ask your name”
    It rains…foreboding…she responds the same
    “my name is Dave..” she says “okay”…
    “nice to meet you, my name’s Renée”


    oh so long for this night I prayed
    that a star would guide you my way
    to share with me this special day
    where a ribbon's in the sky for our love



    We advanced…
    Spending nights in the park holding hands
    We danced…nothing short of a storybook romance
    Entranced… by one another’s glance, we forsook
    Our plans and acquiesced, while the primal took…
    By the stony brook we pantsed ourselves
    And succumbed to the passion we had withheld
    Farewell, to our vows of chastity bid we
    Exchanged…our fluids my inside becomes hers…
    And vice verse…so many times we rehearsed
    For the honeymoon…lit by the stars and the moon
    My love...got me higher than drugs
    A blessed union straight from heaven above…


    if allowed may I touch your hand
    and if pleased may I once again
    so that you too will understand
    there's a ribbon in the sky for our love


    do... do...
    do do do do do
    hmm hmm


    We were joined…
    Together in the holiest matrimony purloined
    From God’s essence…unexpected blessings
    At the alter...no second thoughts or stressing
    No falters…no mistakes...only fulfilled fate
    An eternal love, culminated on the latest date
    The last day before the first, December 31st


    this is not a coincidence
    and far more than a lucky chance
    but what is that was always meant
    is our ribbon in the sky for our love,love



    Our Honeymoon…I was loopy and shorty swooned
    Making love in our rented room…the honeymoon, suite
    It had never tasted a love so sweet…a feat
    Of humanity to achieve a love so pure, not vanity
    Just appreciation for the Lord’s brilliant design
    A better love you can never find, in the ranks of men
    So good…it’s often likened to a sin…the purest love…
    Tainted not by lust but then again…we’ve only been
    Together for a short…and shorty wished to consort
    With me, on the eve of our daily anniversary…
    I thought she wished to plan for the nursery…
    But curses be, what I receive in stead…
    The words she’d speak would berate my head
    On my inside I felt dead…she told me…
    That she was in love with another man…
    “Then why did you marry me?”…
    She didn’t speak…
    "Why do you carry my baby?"
    All she did was weep
    I creeped quickly to her…grabbing her arm
    This was a test of my love…the devil trying to harm
    But no…our love was eternal…he would fail
    Even a blind man could read the signs like Braille


    we can't lose with God on our side
    we'll find strength in each tear we cry



    Her cries were persistent…
    But I was insistent. .
    We need to take a trip…
    We were in New York for our consummation…
    In the downtown…there was a yearly sensation
    Many gathered to celebrate the New Year…
    My friend worked security…I asked for a favor here…
    Myself and my dear, have a desperate need…
    She fiends to view the ball drop from the top
    The scene from above…he allowed us to pass…
    She was confused…and crying, she did not understand…
    But she would, for to me it was clear…a vision…
    I had to act with an inerrant precision…
    I had to prove our love would never end
    The greatest in the ranks of men….
    So we did ascend…to the top of the empire state
    To profess our love and to satiate our fate
    We reached the pinnacle...actions were holy, not sinful
    When I told her that I loved her and to say she loved me…
    She hesitated as she looked at my eyes gleam…
    She asked me if I had lost my mind, I said im fine…
    Then finally she did concede and tell me that she did love me
    Upon hearing this…I knew what had to be done…
    I jumped, and pulled her behind me…pushed her in the front…
    I drew my blade and ran us both through…the countdown was at two…
    As the countdown reached zero and every camera flashed
    They gasped, viewing an image that would forever last
    In their minds…a love beyond human possibility, sublime
    An image that would forever survive the test of time…
    Two in embrace…true greats of the human race
    A love…born in the heavens above…
    Proven…by the trailing blood…

    A ribbon in the sky…
    In the sky for our love…

    from now on it will be you and I
    and our ribbon in the sky
    ribbon in the sky
    a ribbon in the sky for our love

    do... do...
    do do do do do
    hmm hmm...

    (musical break)
    there's a ribbon in the sky for our love


    By David A. Bryant
    Italics by Stevie Wonder
    Last edited by Sublime D; September 30th, 2004 at 05:52 PM
    Bittersweet

  2. #2
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    New Jerusalem
    Posts
    9,745
    Battle Record
    8-6
    The concept is incredible, genius in fact the ribbon in the sky was twisted yet effective representing the cheating wife's blood. Incredible display of imagery and the way the words seem to fall over one another yet weave in and out of each other seamlessly was intriguing, in the first stanza especially, it was fascinating, great piece, 1luv.
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  3. #3
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Minnesota 651
    Posts
    6,472
    Battle Record
    91-11
    Awards OFOTK Champion Haiku Champion Legendary PC Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF 75+ Wins
    this will make a dope audio no doubt....I had a very similar story in my "Til Death do us Part" poem. you had excellent vocab...and internal rhyming and multis and such...a captivating story..altho not completely original...Stevie Wonders part fit very well with your verses...Overall a very nice job..my only gripe is i wasn't feelin a few of your metas...but thats very minor...great work




    Hit up "Memories in a Box" in my sig
    A few achievements here and there

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  4. #4
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Buffalo, NY
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,744
    Battle Record
    1-12
    up
    Bittersweet

  5. #5
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    3,107
    Battle Record
    8-8
    Damn good read. Sublime you did a nice job describing everything pretty much and you had some nice multies. To me this seemed emotional with you and another person connecting on another level such as love in this. But I cant wait to hear the audio I know it will be nicely done.

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    208
    yea, this was kool. nice twist, with a nice concept.
    yea, its long, but whenever you read a very well written peice, it dont seem that long at all.
    i enjoyed reading this, kinda reminded of a peice i was going to write.
    anyways, nothing much more to say man.
    nice read.
    keep writing.

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=148081

    Return.....Thanx.

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    290
    Well I really enjoyed reading this. The concept was really great how it really tied it all in, even though it was a bit morbid in the end. You did a great job describing the story perfectly, to where it was like you were wittnessing it all go down from begining to end. And it had a lot of really good multies that made it flow really well and a very nice use of higher level vocabulary. Real Good stuff


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    OM Hall Of Fame Bia!
    PS Hall Of Fame As Well Bitches!



  8. #8
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Buffalo, NY
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,744
    Battle Record
    1-12
    thanks notty ....you'll fit into dd nicely...and shadow thanks of course for ur usual standard of response..and thansk to marek as well...
    Bittersweet

  9. #9
    .Angelic. shawty"B"'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Tallahassee, FL
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,570
    Battle Record
    2-0
    WOW! just absolutly wow! this poem is nothing short of genius. I love this poem it had such wonderful imagery, and the emotion that was in this was captivating. This may be one of the best poems i have ever read from you! I think that you did an absolutly great job with this. The audio to this should be awsome! Great job Sub.

    ...........fav part...........

    Upon hearing this…I knew what had to be done…
    I jumped, and pulled her behind me…pushed her in the front…
    I drew my blade and ran us both through…the countdown was at two…
    As the countdown reached zero and every camera flashed
    They gasped, viewing an image that would forever last
    In their minds…a love beyond human possibility, sublime
    An image that would forever survive the test of time…
    Two in embrace…true greats of the human race
    A love…born in the heavens above…
    Proved…by the trailing blood…

    ^thats something that I never expected, and it was a great way to end this!!

    keep droppin


    ....bless

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  10. #10
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Fort worth, TX
    Posts
    1,921
    this is deep...i like this...your structure was amazing...your flwo was amazing..your imagery was amazing...this was phenomenal....

    one love...much respect

  11. #11
    Banned Civilized Rebel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    The Beach
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,625
    Battle Record
    3-1
    I guess I'll just be the first to say... hey... I don't get it.

    I know it's because I'm dumb, and you shouldn't sacrifice your art to a lamen. But I just don't get it.

    It wasn't the vocab, you had immense vocab. And it wasn't the rhymes, despite their complexity. I understood what you were getting across with the love and the lust. And I can sense dissapointment from her not answering your questions of why you love her and why she carries your baby. But what I simply don't understand is the reasoning in having to murder her and call it love. Why? Because she was with another man? That's like.. doesn't quite function in my head.

    I can tell you the technical things like vocab and rhymes, that make this great. But the emotional part of it, the umpf part of it, I don't understand. So I can't tell you my reflections.

    Mo-Mentai.

  12. #12
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Buffalo, NY
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,744
    Battle Record
    1-12
    the speaker is supposed to be insane...it wasn't real love...she is liek crying and hysterical...she's freakign out...but he's all deranged in his mind, and he thought that the love they had was perfect, and her infidelity broke the light grasp he had on sanity...and reality
    Last edited by Sublime D; October 29th, 2004 at 10:22 PM
    Bittersweet

  13. #13
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Ont.
    Age
    36
    Posts
    2,038
    Battle Record
    23-19
    long...but well worth the read.

    I loved this piece.

    I seriously have no complaints.


    Collabo.


    Word.

    -Truth
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

  14. #14
    Emcee Fitz
    Guest
    Damn that shits crazy dog u got true talent for real
    worth the read just wondering but.......is it a true story

  15. #15
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Buffalo, NY
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,744
    Battle Record
    1-12
    no lol...thanks for the comment though
    Bittersweet

Similar Threads

  1. ",,," Smz .. t-west .. Sublime D
    By Sublime D in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: August 7th, 2005, 11:20 PM
  2. "..." - Sublime D, T-West, SMZ
    By t-west in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: January 26th, 2005, 10:06 PM
  3. Dskillz - "To That Mah Fuck'n Sky" Composed
    By Dskillz4Ever in forum The Studio
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: November 25th, 2004, 09:32 PM
  4. "Ribbon In The Sky" - Sublime D ft. Stevie Wonder
    By Sublime D in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: September 30th, 2004, 04:18 PM
  5. Sublime's First Audio / "Lyrical Apartheid"
    By Sublime D in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: August 28th, 2004, 04:22 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •